


Confusion

by gtfomyufo



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: (sorta. bobby dates rogue but his heart isn't in it), Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, for accuracy i just fastforwarded the movies a bunch until i saw bobby's face, if that doesn't say something about me then idk what does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 14:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15951032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gtfomyufo/pseuds/gtfomyufo
Summary: This is partly a re-telling of the x-men films from Bobby's perspective, with a few extra scenes added. Iceman in the comics spent most of his time as a closeted gay man so it follows that it's the same deal for movieverse Iceman. It was interesting to me to contemplate how this would affect his decisions in the movies and I figured I'd write it up as a fanfiction.





	Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> The characterisation for iceman in this fic is kind of a mix of him from the comics and the movies. If anyone's interested in a sequel lmk.

Bobby Drake was decidedly _not_ thinking about John Allerdyce. He couldn’t think about John Allerdyce because there was nothing to think about. They were best friends and that was that.

 

There was something nagging at him, though. Something from deep within and he pushed it away. It was something akin to longing. There was something he felt around John that he just couldn’t shake no matter how hard he tried. It was almost as if… he wanted _more_ . But that was stupid. What more could he _want?_

 

He was far too afraid to answer that. Even if deep down, he already knew.

 

~

 

John was showing off again- to who Bobby wasn’t entirely sure. They were sitting in on one of Storm’s classes and John was making a fireball behind his chair. Bobby reached out with powers of his own and froze the air around the fireball, snuffing it out. He knew Pyro couldn’t reignite the flame once it was out. The ice ball crashed to the ground and Storm turned, saying “John,” warningly.

 

John looked down, at least pretending to be ashamed and said “Sorry.”

 

Bobby chuckled to himself. It was kind of a running game between them to see how much they could get away with using their powers in class without getting caught. This was one point for Bobby.

 

Someone laughed beside him and he looked over. Sitting beside him in the usually empty seat was a girl he didn’t recognize. She must be new here.

He leaned over, whispering “I’m Bobby… What’s your name?”

 

“Rose,” she replied softly.

 

He moved his hand over to her desk and made an ice sculpture of a rose for her, whispering jokingly, “Welcome to Mutant High.”

 

At the time, he thought it was a fun way to demonstrate how casually they can use their powers here without being afraid, and he’d be damned if he didn’t enjoy a good pun, but later he’d realise it might have accidentally come off like he was hitting on her. Even _later_ he’d realise her name wasn’t even Rose, it was _Rogue_ and he’d just have to pretend he was hitting on her to avoid the embarrassment of mishearing her name. This line of thought is exactly the line of thought that got him into trouble.

 

~

 

Rogue was supposed to meet him for lunch. She needed friends here and it was probably less intimidating for her without the rest of the boys around. At least, that’s what he told himself to justify why she’d want lunch with just him. It definitely _wasn’t_ because he accidentally hit on her that one time and she was into it. He sat around in the dining hall for about half an hour before giving up. He stood up from the table and almost ran into John.

 

“Oh, hey, Bobby. Have you eaten yet?” he asked.

 

“Nah, I was waiting for Rogue but she never showed up.”

 

John looked thoughtful for a moment. “Rogue. She’s that new girl, right?” He smirked. “Hey, is there something you wanna tell me, Iceman?”

 

Man, did Bobby think that smirk looked good on him. Wait, what? That wasn’t the sort of thing you’re supposed to think about your friends. Bobby crossed his arms and huffed, looking away. “No, I just thought she could use some friends around here. She stood me up, anyway. What’re you up to?” He tried not to sound too interested for that last part. What was _too interested_ anyway? He needed to stop whatever this was that was happening to him.

 

“I was just about to get food myself. I missed going with the other guys because Storm wanted to give me a _talking to_ about “disrupting class” or whatever yesterday. That was totally unfair, by the way. That was _your_ iceball that caused the _disruption._ ”

 

Bobby laughed. “Well look who's interested in what my balls are doing all of a sudden,” he teased.

 

Pyro scrunched up his face and put a hand over it. “Dude, _no._ You're the one who decided to put your balls on mine- wait. Fuck.” They both laughed. “Okay, ok. Let's just get some food already.”

 

They spent the next hour or so just talking and eating together. It was nice, being with John while no one else was around. Something tugged in his chest as he thought, guiltily, that he was almost glad Rogue didn’t show up. He’d pick John over some girl he just met any day.

 

When he found out the real reason Rogue didn’t show up, that she’d been kidnapped, he felt even worse. He’d have to make it up to her somehow.

 

~

 

Once Rogue recovered from her encounter with Magneto, she started hanging out with Bobby and his friends a lot. She seemed to stick closer to Bobby since he was the one she met first, but he didn’t really mind it. He felt bad about the whole lunch thing and Rogue had confided in him that Mystique had used his face to lure her away from the mansion. He had to make sure she knew he wasn’t like that, and that she was safe here.

They didn’t just hang out with the rest of the guys, though. Bobby asked her out to a make-up lunch and they continued meeting just the two of them. At one of these lunches, Rogue asked him if they were dating.

 

“Oh, uh. I don’t know,” he had replied. “Do _you_ think we’re dating?”

 

“Well, we hang out alone together a lot. With my powers, I think this is probably the closest I could get to someone.”

 

Something felt wrong in his chest. He was _supposed_ to want this, wasn’t he? Maybe he just wasn’t trying hard enough. He put on his best smile. He found it easy to fake being happy, when he was always joking around. “Well, I don’t know that we _are_ dating, but we could. If you wanted to.”

 

She looked happy with his answer. “I’d like that.”

  


~

 

Shortly after Bobby and Rogue had started dating ( _dating_ was maybe a strong word, they didn’t do anything friends couldn’t do, and Bobby was secretly glad of this) Storm, Jean Grey, and Cyclops took them and all the rest of the mutant kids on an excursion to the museum. Pyro asked if Bobby wanted to sneak off with him, and Bobby did. At the last second Bobby realised he should probably bring his girlfriend along and dragged Rogue by the gloved elbow. He and Pyro had been to this museum a thousand times already, but Rogue lightly protested as this was her first time on an excursion with the school and she didn’t want to get into trouble.

 

They were sitting around in the food court when two guys came up to them. They’d seen Pyro fiddling with his lighter (as usual) and wanted to borrow it. Pyro was unusually protective over his lighter. He didn’t like letting it leave his immediate possession, because he felt defenseless. John wasn’t the kind of person to admit this publicly, though, and Bobby was probably the only one who knew. To overcompensate his anxiety, John was pretending he was just refusing them to be an asshole. He pointedly clicked the lighter on and off.

 

“Hey, my brother asked you a simple question,” said one of the guys.

 

“Why are you being such a dick?” asked the other.

 

“Yeah, why are you being such a dick?”

 

“Because I can.” said John, flippantly. Bobby tried to hide his smirk at this and looked, fondly amused, over at John. John smiled back. John was still playing with his lighter. Click, click. Click, click.

 

“Can. I have. A _light_?” asked one of the guys forcefully.

 

John looked faux-thoughtfully at his lighter and let out a breath before saying “Sorry. Can’t help you out, pal.”

 

Rogue was clearly getting bored of this. “John, knock it off,” she said, annoyed. At this point Bobby realised he probably wasn’t supposed to be finding this funny.

 

John started laughing and Bobby asked him “Why don’t you stop showing off?” He supposed Rogue was right, the guys weren’t setting out to bother them and John _was_ being kind of a dick. Even if he did quietly find it amusing.

 

“Oh, for her?” asked John. “I can’t help it if your girlfriend’s getting excited.”

 

That seemed uncalled for. Bobby noticed John had been acting out a bit since he and Rogue had started dating. He seemed different, somehow. He _looked_ different, although Bobby couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “I don’t think she’s getting excited,” he said, frustrated. Whatever was going on with John lately, he didn’t have to take it out on Rogue. None of this was her fault.

 

“C’mon we’re trying to have a good time,” said John.

 

“You’re the only one having a good time,” replied Bobby. It hurt that it was true. He _wanted_ to be having a good time. He was supposed to be the fun friend, but he’d been losing it a little lately. He didn’t want to be fighting with John, and he wasn’t even entirely sure what it was they were fighting about.

 

While they were distracted with each other, one of the guys snatched John’s lighter out of his hands. That was a mistake.

 

“Hey!” yelled John as he stood up. Bobby was afraid to see what was going to happen next. John walked over to the guy who stole his lighter and the guy’s brother stepped out in front of him. “That’s real cute, man,” said John. He glanced anxiously to the side for just a moment. Bobby could see he was really upset about this. And not because he was an asshole who was being showed up.

 

“What are you gonna do?” asked the guy who stole the lighter, blowing smoke in John’s face as John laughed humourlessly, turning his face away from the smoke. “Suddenly you’re not so tough,” the guy continued, unaware how close to home that comment was for John.

 

John squared his shoulders, winked, and caused the flame of the guy’s cigarette to blow up in his face, causing his jacket sleeve to catch on fire. The guy was an asshole, but he didn’t deserve to burn to death, either. Bobby stood up and used his own powers to put out the flame as John laughed. Bobby was too strung out to really find it that amusing. The guy, now on the floor, looked terrified of the both of them. Serves him right, but it was a little annoying considering Bobby had just saved him. People around them started to turn to look at them, and then they froze. Not froze, as in like frozen cold, but stopped in their tracks.

 

“Bobby, what did you _do?”_ asked Rogue.

 

Bobby looked around them. “I didn’t do this,” he said. He couldn’t freeze people like _that._

 

“No. I did,” said Professor X. He wasn’t there a minute ago so Bobby guessed he must be projecting his image into their minds, and making a dramatic entrance at that. He looked directly at Pyro. “And the next time you feel like showing off, don’t.”

 

Bobby thought that was a little unfair. Sure, things got a little out of hand but John wasn’t _really_ doing it just to show off, even though that may have been a part of it. The Professor _had_ to know that. Although, he claimed not to read their minds without permission. Bobby sure _hoped_ that was the case because the last thing he needed right now was to have someone rummaging around in his thoughts. He tried very hard not to think about why exactly in case he thought it loud enough for the professor to hear.

 

A broadcast from the TV interrupted them with news about an attack on the president. It loudly claimed that mutants were involved and Bobby thought sarcastically that was just _exactly_ what they needed right now. More hate against mutants.

 

“I think it’s time to leave, Professor,” Mr Summers interjected

 

“I think you’re right,” Xavier responded, and Bobby couldn’t agree more.

 

~

 

Later, Bobby was sitting on the couch with rogue in one of the common rooms thumb wrestling with one of her gloved hands. He was glad she wore gloves all the time because most people complained he was too cold to touch for extended periods of time.

 

He wasn’t sure where Pyro was, he figured it was best to leave him alone for a while so he could calm down. He could be quite volatile and unpredictable, much like his powers, but he burned out quickly. Bobby figured that if their powers were connected to their personalities that’d explain why he was so cool. Ha. He’d have to tell that to John later.

 

Bobby was looking down at their hands, trying to win the game when he heard Rogue’s breath hitch. He looked over at her and she was staring at him. This is where any normal teenagers would kiss. He was glad they weren’t just any normal teenagers. Unfortunately they were in front of a lot of other kids so he had to at least pretend he wished they were. He’d seen enough teens kissing on TV. He was sure he could figure out how to make it look like a realistic attempt. He glanced down at her lips. That was step one. Step two was leaning in. He moved an inch forward. He paused, and glanced unsurely up into her eyes. She wouldn’t let him do it, would she? What if she did? He moved another two inches before pausing, repositioning. Maybe he should try coming at this from another angle-

 

“I-” said Rogue. Thank God, she was interrupting him. He couldn’t stall forever. “I don’t want to hurt you,” she finished.

 

Bobby sucked in a breath and shrugged a shoulder, smiling. “I’m not afraid.” He was very afraid. He just had to trust that she wouldn’t let him go through with it. He heard other people whispering behind them. They _really_ had an audience now, so he had to make sure to sell it. He leaned in again, stopping and starting. They heard an engine roaring outside and Rogue pulled back. She looked over at him excitedly and ran off. He forced a smile and let out a breath. That was way too close.

 

He took another few moments trying to compose himself before going after her. He found her talking to Logan, who’d just arrived back.

 

“Oh, this is Bobby,” he heard her say as he got closer. “He’s my-”

 

“I’m her boyfriend,” he said, a little too forcefully. He was still so nervous. He put out a hand to shake Logan’s. “Call me Iceman,” he continued. Logan’s hand started to freeze as he grasped Bobby’s. _Shit._ He has trouble controlling it when he’s nervous. He gave Logan a half-smile trying to brush it off.

 

“...Right,” said Logan gruffly. “Boyfriend? So how do you guys…”

 

Bobby glanced panickingly over at Rogue, opened his mouth to say something then closed it again. He looked back at Logan. “Well, we’re still working on that.” He sounded so unsure, damn it. Truth be told, Bobby hadn’t been trying very hard at all to solve that problem.

 

“Look who’s come back,” said a voice from the stairs. It was Storm. “Just in time,” she said.

 

He crossed his arms and looked down, jaw tight. ‘Just in time’ indeed. He was so glad he wouldn’t have time to finish _this_ particular conversation.

 

He didn’t really pay attention to what was said next, but he noticed Storm leaving.

 

“Yeah, well, it was good to meet you,” he said. He nodded slightly, then walked away. At the last moment he realised he should probably be taking his girlfriend with him. “C’mon let’s go,” he said as he grabbed her hand, pulling her awkwardly backwards.

 

“Bye Logan, I’ll see- I’ll see you later!” she rushed to add before turning and walking with him.

 

As soon as they got into the hall she whispered “What was _that?_ ” at him.

 

“What was _what?_ ” he said stiffly.

 

“Bobby, you _froze his hand!”_

 

“It’s not like he couldn’t handle it!” Bobby threw his hands up.

 

“Bobby, seriously. What’s gotten into you?”

 

“I-I can’t always control it, okay?” he said softly. “I’m just- I’m stressed out.”

 

“Is it because of the kiss?” asked Rogue. She looked down, “You know I can’t-”

 

“No it’s not because of that, okay? This isn’t your fault I’m just-" He stopped. "I'm not mad, okay?" he said more softly. She still looked worried. "Come here," he said as he hugged her, being careful not to make skin to skin contact. He thought they both needed it right now. She let out a breath and hugged him back. After a moment he said, “I have to go find Pyro.”

 

She pulled away. “John? What’s he got to do with-”

 

“Have you seen him since the museum?”

 

“Well, no…”

 

“Exactly. I need to go make sure he’s okay.” With that, he left. He really did want to go check on John but that wasn’t the whole truth. He couldn’t be around Rogue right now. He had to get himself together.

 

~

 

He found John’s bedroom door and knocked on it lightly.

 

“What?” said a voice from inside. Bobby opened the door slowly. He saw John lying on his bed, flipping his lighter on and off. He'd stolen it back from that guy in the museum while he was still frozen in place by the professor. He glanced up at bobby. “What do you want, Drake?” John was using his last name. Ouch.

 

“I wanted to check on you, _Allerdyce._ I know today was hard for you and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

 

John sighed, “Alright fine, you can come in. But close the door behind you.” He sat up against the headrest from where he was lying on the bed.

 

Bobby sat down on the bed next to him, against the wall.

 

John stared at him for a long moment. “So what’s wrong with you, then?”

 

“What?”

 

“Come on Bobby, cut the crap. You haven’t cracked a single terrible joke to cheer me up. Something’s wrong.”

 

“Shit, is it that obvious?” Bobby ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Yep.” said Pyro, popping the p at the end of the word.

 

Bobby stayed silent. He couldn’t say what was bothering him. He couldn’t even admit it in his own head. He might use the excuse that it’s because he doesn’t want any nosy telepaths overhearing but the truth was that he was afraid. He was already a mutant, his parents didn’t even know _that_ let alone that he was- that he-

 

His heart started racing in his chest. He wasn't ready to do this. He bit his lip, fighting against tears, breathing hard. He couldn’t cry in front of Pyro. That was the _opposite_ of cool.

 

Pyro sucked in a breath. “Shit, dude. I’m not a telepath. Whatever it is, you’re just gonna have to tell me.” He paused, adding quietly, “I won’t judge you. And I’m not mad at you about earlier, if that’s what you’re so worried about. You know why the lighter is important to me, and I let it get out of hand. That’s on me. So please, tell me.”

 

Bobby nodded stiffly, feeling the tears start to bubble over. He covered his face with his hands and forced himself to speak through the lump in his throat. “I can’t,” was all he could force out. He couldn’t see what John was doing, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what he thought about Bobby crying in front of him.

 

“You can’t what?” he heard Pyro ask softly.

 

“Speak,” said Bobby roughly. He was mortified. He felt a hand being placed on his shoulder.

 

“That’s okay,” said John. “You don’t have to tell me right now. I know we joke around a lot but I do care about you, and I hate seeing you like this.”

 

Bobby nodded. He sniffed and rubbed at his eyes. He looked up at John, who was sitting closer now. In a moment of weakness he leaned forward and wrapped his arms tightly around John.

 

“Ugh! You’re so fucking cold,” said John from within his arms.

 

“Your powers are heat manipulation, asshole,” said Bobby. “I’m sure you can figure something out.”

 

“Fine, I guess I could let you off just this once,” said Pyro. Then he returned Bobby’s hug, equally as tight.

 

~

 

Bobby couldn’t sleep that night. He was too restless, and he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened earlier. He had to admit it to himself. He didn’t want to be with Rogue because he liked Pyro. He wanted to be with Pyro. With boys. Only _ever_ with boys.

 

He got up and made his way down to the kitchen. He got out some ice cream. It was the only thing he could eat when he was agitated, everything else just turned to ice in his mouth.

 

He didn’t know how much time had passed when Logan walked by. He couldn’t tell by the ice cream because it wouldn’t melt in his hands no matter how long he’d been sitting there. Logan stopped just after the door, and looked at him. Bobby looked back, but didn’t hold his gaze.

 

Logan backtracked and walked through the door. “Hey,” said Bobby, as lightly as he could manage. Could this night get any worse?

 

“Does anybody sleep around here?” Logan asked him.

 

“Apparently not,” Bobby said noncommittally.

 

Logan walked over to the fridge. “You got any beer?” he asked.

 

Bobby smiled a little at that. “This is a _school_.”

 

“So that’s a no?”

 

“Yeah, that’s a no.”

 

“Is there anything other than chocolate milk?”

 

“There should be some soda in that small cupboard,” said Bobby, pointing with his spoon. He watched Logan reach up to get it, feeling weird about eating his pity ice cream when someone else was there.

 

Logan walked towards him, about to take a sip of his drink, before stopping and passing it to Bobby. Bobby brought it up to his mouth, and blew into it, making direct eye contact with Logan the whole time. He didn’t really even need to touch it to cool it down, but he guessed he was just too tired to care about what kind of image he was sending. Maybe he was sending that image on purpose. He didn’t know. Logan didn’t seem like he’d be a bad kisser.

 

“Thanks,” said Logan.

 

“No problem.”

 

They sat in awkward silence for a while, Logan finally breaking it with a gruff enquiry, “How long you been here?”

 

“A couple years.”

 

“And your parents just sent you off to mutant school?” Logan asked incredulously.

 

Bobby paused, staring at his spoon for a moment. “Actually…” His parents didn’t even know he was a mutant. Maybe it was better it stayed that way. He couldn’t just go and tell them he’s not only a mutant, but _gay_ now, too. “My parents think this is a prep school,” he continued. He was better off just letting them think that forever. Never seeing them is better than having to hear the things he knows they’ll say if he told them.

 

Realisation flashed in Logan’s eyes as he nodded. “I see,” he said, the softest Bobby had heard him speak. “Well, I suppose a lot of prep schools have their own dorms, campuses…”

 

“ _Jets_ ,” Bobby interjected. They could pretend all day this was anything like a normal school, but they wouldn’t be fooling anyone. They weren’t normal, and they never would be.

 

Logan tilted his head, in an agreeing way. Bobby looked back down at his ice cream. “So you and Rogue, huh?”

 

“Yeah.” Bobby answered a little too quickly. “I mean it’s not what you think-” shit. “I’d like it to be,” he was babbling now, over-correcting. “But It’s just-” Just _what?_ That he could never feel that way about a girl? That he was using her powers as an excuse not to touch her? He looked warily up at Logan. Logan raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, beckoning him to continue. What could Bobby say that wasn’t a lie? “It’s… just… That it’s not easy…” His voice caught for a moment. What he was about to say was too real, but for different reasons that what Logan would assume. “When you wanna be closer to someone…” Pyro. He had to fight hard to keep speaking, he was admitting something he hadn’t admitted before, even though Logan wouldn’t hear what he really meant. “But you can’t.” He looked down at his spoon, blinking more than was necessary. He needed to change the topic. “I’ve seen how you look at Dr. Grey.”

 

Logan tilted his head warningly. “Excuse me?”

 

Bobby shrugged. “Nothin’.” He guessed he was the only one being honest today. Even cryptically. Logan got up, suddenly. “What is it?” Bobby asked.

 

Logan shushed him and left. Bobby got up to look out the window. Something was wrong. He heard a noise behind him and jumped around. Logan was holding some guy with a gun in a bulletproof vest and Bobby heard him say, “You picked the wrong house, bub.”

 

Just then there was a loud scream which hurt to hear. It must have been Theresa, he thought as he instinctively pulled his arms up to cover his ears. The man in Logan’s hold let off a gunshot, and it missed Bobby as he buckled over under the pain of the scream. The man kept firing and Bobby ducked behind the counter, out of range of the bullets. The guy must have run out of ammo, because the firing stopped after a while. So did the scream. Bobby hoped that Theresa was alright. He peeked over the counter to see Logan wrestling with the man who now had a knife. Luckily, Logan had knives of his own. He popped out his claws with a _snikt_ and pushed the man against the fridge, stabbing him with three blades in each side of the chest, breathing heavily. Logan looked back at him, and Bobby didn’t move from his place behind the counter. He was afraid. Logan had just saved him, but the way he did it caused Bobby to be at least a little wary.

 

“You alright?” Logan asked him, and he nodded quickly. Logan dragged him out to the doorway, still in shock, and pushed him against the wall, “Stay here,” he said and Bobby didn’t have trouble obeying. He watched as Logan went down the hall, taking out more men like the first, one by one, as he heard the screams of the other children from above.

 

Bobby had to help them. He had to make sure his friends were okay. He got into the elevator and hoped he could get there fast enough. Amongst the chaos of the running children, some of which barrelling right into him, he spotted John, thankfully still safe so far. “John! Hey, where’s Rogue?” he called out.

 

John stopped running, and looked frantically around for a moment. He was out of breath, and held up his hands. “I don’t know.”

 

Bobby panicked. “I gotta find her,” he said as he turned to run the other direction. Just because he wasn’t attracted to her didn’t mean he didn’t care. He felt bad for using her the way he did, but he got in too deep before he even consciously knew what he was doing.

 

He heard John yell, “Hey!” behind him but he couldn’t wait for him. He knew John was safe and that was enough right now. He couldn’t say the same for Rogue.

John was catching up with him to help look as he ran through the halls of the mansion. He heard someone running in a nearby hallway and called out “Rogue!” hoping it was her.

 

He heard her voice yell back, “Bobby!” then she turned the corner. “This way!”

 

He and John ran after her around the corner, all three of them still in their pyjamas, Bobby, embarrassingly enough, in nothing more than a t-shirt and his boxers.

 

Just then, a window exploded in front of them. They all ducked and turned back the other way, Bobby almost led Rogue by the shoulder before remembering her skin wasn’t covered and it could kill him. They ran frantically down the stairs, when they practically ran into three more guys with guns and vests. They were cornered, but Logan dropped down from above stabbing into two of them with his claws and slashing the third before saying, “Let’s go.” They followed him to the front door, but they were surrounded by choppers. “Come on, this way!” Logan instructed.

 

“I know another way out,” Bobby said, running straight for one of the secret exits, telling the others, “This is it,” on arrival.

 

They all piled into the passageway except for Logan, who shut the door behind them to keep the men outside distracted.

 

Bobby and Pyro continued running down the passageway, but Rogue yelled after Logan. She followed after the two boys and yelled, “Wait! Wait, you guys! We’ve gotta do something, they’ll kill him!”

 

Pyro raised his hands, “He can handle himself! Let’s go!.”

 

Bobby was inclined to agree, but Rogue yelled his name, trying to get him on her side. He looked between them helplessly, and Rogue added, “Please.”

 

He knew in his heart there was nothing he could do to stop her from going back for Logan, and he didn’t want her going after him herself. “Okay,” he said. He looked back at John, who rolled his eyes but nodded.

 

They snuck back over to a hallway near where Logan was, and watched quietly as Logan talked to a man he didn’t recognize, probably the leader of whatever organisation was attacking them. He put his hand to the wall, and brought up a screen of ice between Logan and the men, hoping it would buy them enough time to escape.

 

Logan protested at first, but ultimately Rogue convinced him to escape with them.

 

They made it to the garage, piling into a blue car. Rogue was in the front with Logan and the two boys in the back. Bobby noted, out of breath, “This is cyclops’ car.”

 

“Oh yeah?” asked Logan, unsheathing a single claw to start the car with. Bobby got the feeling Logan was enjoying this.

 

~

 

Once they got away, Logan said they were going to Boston.

 

Bobby’s heart sped up in his chest, if that was even possible considering the state he was already in. “My parents live in Boston,” he said.

 

“Good,” replied Logan.

 

They sat in silence for a long time, Bobby unable to calm down at the thought of having to see his parents again. Now, of all times. And this time, he didn’t think he’d be able to keep his mutant status a secret.

 

John leaned over with his foot to nudge Bobby. Bobby looked over, unable to hide the panic on his face.

 

“You Okay?” Pyro mouthed the words at him. He knew the deal with Bobby’s parents.

 

There was no point pretending. Bobby shook his head.

 

Pyro nodded. “I’m here for you,” he mouthed again. Bobby forced a smile, and John put his hand on Bobby’s shoulder.

Bobby felt ever so slightly calmer. He turned back, and mouthed “Thanks.” John moved his hand away, and Bobby mourned the loss of contact.

 

~

 

Thankfully, Bobby had some spare clothes at his parents’ house. He also found some for Rogue to wear. She started getting changed in front of him, and he turned away. He had a moment of doubt and turned back to look at her, hoping maybe, just maybe he was wrong. Maybe he could like girls after all, but. Nothing. He turned away again, and when she was done he gave her his grandmother’s gloves.

 

He stared at her for a long moment. There was only one way to know for sure. He needed to try it once, and he was too desperate to back out now. Maybe it was something about being back at his parents’ house, knowing they’d find out he was a mutant. He needed to feel like there was still something right about him in their eyes.

 

“You won’t hurt me,” he said, and he leaned in to kiss her.

 

It was quick at first, Rogue leaning back and breathing out ice. “Wow,” she said appreciatively.

 

Bobby didn’t feel the same way, but he was determined to give it one more shot. He was exhausted, and strung-out, and he needed something to go right. He leaned in again, not willing to back out now.

 

Rogue kissed him, hard, but he was starting to feel the effects of her power, the life draining out of him. He was too stunned to pull away and she just kept kissing him. Was this it? Was he willing to die just to try and prove (unsuccessfully) that he’s straight after all?

 

He shoved her away. He stared dizzily forward for a few moments, trying hard to catch his breath, pull himself together in more ways than one. Rogue apologized profusely.

 

“It’s okay,” he said, unsure whether he was talking to Rogue or himself. If it was to himself, he didn’t believe it.

 

He heard noise from downstairs, his parents must be home. He ran down to greet them, to explain.

 

“Bobby. Aren’t you supposed to be at school? Who is this?” questioned his mother.

 

He just stared at her for a moment, still fuzzy from the effects of Rogues’ kiss. “This is uh, Professor Logan,” he told them. What else did he have to lose at this point? “There’s something I have to tell you.”

 

~

 

His mother tried to hide her dismay at the news. “So, when did you first know you were a…” she paused.

 

John wasn’t really having it with her thinly veiled disgust and supplied, helpfully, “A mutant?’ he was being protective of Bobby, knowing that he couldn’t handle this conversation alone.

 

“You have to understand,” started his father, “We thought Bobby was going to a school for the gifted.”

 

“Bobby _is_ gifted,” defended Rogue on his behalf. He was so glad his friends were here to back him up. He can’t imagine having to do this alone. He can’t imagine having to do it again for the Other Thing he still rarely gained the courage to think by name. He can’t even imagine telling the friends so valiantly backing him up now.

“We know. We just _didn’t realise_ ,” said his father, his mother cutting him off with “We still love you Bobby. It’s just this _mutant problem_ is a little…”

 

Bobby saw how it was. So they still loved him, but not as a mutant. Not as a gay mutant, for sure. They loved the idea of him, but now that they knew the truth, things would never be the same.

 

“ _What mutant problem?”_ demanded Logan. Bobby wished he could be anywhere else other than having this conversation, right here, right now.

 

“...Complicated,” finished his mother. Far more complicated than she knew or Bobby cared to admit right now.

 

Things started getting tense between Logan and his father.

 

Rogue interrupted them, “You should see what Bobby can do,” she said, likely hoping his parents would find some amazement in his abilities but it was pointless. Nevertheless, Bobby reached out and froze his mother’s tea with a touch.

 

“Bobby!” she whispered.

 

“I can do a lot more than that,” he smiled at her, hoping against all rationality she’d see the beauty in it. The family cat came up to lick the frozen tea and Pyro chuckled from his place at the wall just as Bobby’s little brother stormed off. He’d never even thought to worry about what his brother would think. Being younger, Bobby had wrongfully assumed he’d be more open-minded. Bobby looked down, disappointed.

 

His mother called after his brother and looked ashamed. “This is all my fault,” she said, and Bobby’s heart panged.

 

John was still not tolerating her bullshit. “Actually, they discovered males were the ones who carry the mutant gene and pass it on, so it’s his fault,” he said, gesturing to Bobby’s father. Bobby smiled at that.

 

After another long silence and Logan leaving the room to take a call his mother addressed him once more. “Bobby.” He looked up at her, she smiled reassuringly. “Have you tried… Not being a mutant?”

 

He just sighed. He expected nothing less from her.

 

After that, all hell broke loose. Logan seemed panicked. There were police with guns, trigger-happy and not afraid to use them fatally. Pyro was clearly still agitated, and retaliated with an explosive display. Rogue grabbed on to him to drain his powers for damage control, and John fell slowly to the ground. Bobby wanted to stop her, she was hurting John, but he was, appropriately, frozen in place. Unable to do anything but watch the disaster unfold.

 

Storm arrived, helped put out the flames, and Rogue finally let go of John. As they were walking away, Bobby chanced a look behind him. He saw his family in the window of his brother’s room, holding onto him for dear life. They were afraid, and he knew he could never come back here. They wouldn’t care that Ronny was the one who caused all this destruction by calling the cops. They’d only care that their son was a filthy mutie and his friends had caused a scene in their perfect suburban neighbourhood.

 

He ran to catch up with the others, not daring to look back again.

 

~

 

That night, they made camp with _Magneto_ of all people. Bobby didn’t feel like being alone after what happened with his family, so he found Pyro’s tent and joined him in it. Nobody would think twice about the two of them being together. Not like they would about him and Rogue. Although he guessed they’d think that was pretty safe too, on account of her powers.

 

“Hey,” said John, tiredly, patting the ground next to him.

 

“Hey,” said Bobby as he lied down next to John. They were silent for a moment.

 

“You know it doesn’t matter what they think, right?” asked John seriously. “If they ever give you shit I’ll burn their house down. You just tell me and it’s done.”

 

Bobby chuckled. “I wouldn’t doubt it for a second.”

 

They fell into a comfortable silence, both too tired to speak. Bobby hadn’t slept at all the past two days and it was finally catching up to him.

 

“Are you ready to talk about it?” asked John, breaking the silence. “From yesterday. I know this probably isn’t a good time but I’m worried. You weren’t in your room when I went to check during the chaos yesterday, and that means you probably didn’t sleep at all.”

 

“I didn’t,” said Bobby quietly.

 

“Then what?”

 

Bobby sighed. It’s not like this could be the worst that had happened to him in the last 24 hours. “I’m gay.” He said, for the first time aloud. He was far too tired to pretend and he figured if he could tell his parents he was a mutant, he could tell his best friend he was gay. It couldn’t go _nearly_ as bad.

 

John started laughing, inappropriately as usual.

 

“That wasn’t a joke!” exclaimed Bobby, “I’m being serious for once.” He started to feel a rise of panic even through his exhaustion.

 

John laughed even harder, “Oh, I know believe me. Rogue? Seriously? Man, that would be genius if it weren’t so pathetic.”

 

Bobby shoved him in the arm, “Don’t be a dick.” He admonished. He paused for a long moment as John’s laughter finally petered off. “It’s okay though? You’re not going to be... Like my parents were today?” He felt a little silly having to ask that, but this… thing about him was a lot harder for him to deal with than it was to deal with being a mutant. At least being a mutant gave him cool powers.

 

“Aw, man of course it’s okay.” John paused for a moment, before adding “I’m insulted you could even think I’d be like _them..._ Besides, I think it’d be a little hypocritical if I had a problem with it.”

 

Bobby just stared at him trying to piece that together. His brain really wasn’t working on no sleep.

 

John rolled his eyes. “I also like dudes. Duh.”

 

“Oh,” said Bobby. “Cool.” He nodded.

 

John smirked, “I have to be for you, Iceman.”

 

Bobby smiled, and blinked wearily, trying hard to stay awake.

 

“Hey, no. Don’t do that, Bobby. You need to sleep.” With that John lifted up one of his arms and put it under Bobby’s shoulders, pulling him gently over to lie on his chest. Bobby made no effort to protest the action. He sighed and closed his eyes, wrapping an arm around John.

 

“Pyro?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Thanks.”

 

John put a hand in Bobby’s hair. “You’ve got nothing to thank me for.”


End file.
